Chewing the fat

So, I’m chubby.

No, really.  I am.  I know I am, I have the pants to prove it.

Truth be told, I’ve been chubby(pick whatever word you want for it: obese, fat, overweight, pleasantly plump, fluffy…well, not pleasantly plump…I’m not a turkey) for a long, long time.  I’d say forever, but that’s not true because there is photographic evidence of me being thin…when I was in first grade.

I do, however, weigh less than I did in high school (huzzah!).  However, I currently am about 35 pounds over my lowest weight as an adult (which I only was for about a second, anyway…I never even got my 95 pound star at Weight Watchers.)  Since getting married, I put on 10 pounds, and there’s been another 5 or 6 that have hung around after my recent surgery.  Boo.

As with most people who are motivated to lose a decent amount of weight, I’ve had my share of embarrassments to spur me along. I haven’t had one in awhile, and my motivation has been close to non-existent for a year.  Never mind that my largest pants don’t fit comfortably or that I feel like a stuffed sausage…I can’t stop with the sugar.

Then I took my chemistry exam this week.

My chubbiness has settled into what is typically considered a ‘pear-shape.’  Yes, folks, I have a wide ass.  That wide ass means it can be difficult (at times) to fit comfortably in a seat with arms.  Enter the chemistry exam this week, and I give you the worst experience I’ve had in a long while.

See, the auditorium seating that’s in the hall we have class in wasn’t made to accommodate someone with birthing hips.  And the stupid little desks that are attached aren’t much use either if you have any amount of a gut (ok, my amount of a gut, which has altered since surgery…things fit weird now.)  Imagine my horror when I go to sit down and I can’t sit straight down because my hips won’t go past the arms of the chair (I manage to fit in a seat during class because I sit in a seat that doesn’t have both sides…it’s actually a handicap accessible seat that has an adjustable arm…I didn’t realize this til the day of the test when we have assigned seating.)

I remember the last time I was so uncomfortable in a seat…I was about 60 pounds heavier and was crammed into an airplane seat.  I think I cried almost all the way home.

Thankfully, there is a plan in place.  I have food issues, no doubt, but I’ve known that for awhile.  I’ve been off soda for about 3 weeks.  Next stop, sugar (heaven help the Boy.)  The Boy and I are also (finally) set up to use the gym at his place of employment (yay for free gym!)  We went yesterday and have the delayed onset muscle soreness to prove it.

Anyone who has ever had a weight problem knows how much it sucks.  I’ve been in a better place and I want to get back there.  And there I will get.

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About maggyruth

Mid-thirties, Mid-Atlantic transplant. Fiber-artist, hidden poet, health educator, student. Still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I swear sometimes. Especially when I'm mad. Deal with it. View all posts by maggyruth

14 responses to “Chewing the fat

  • Alison@Mama Wants This

    Good luck with your weight loss journey!

    Stopping by from LBS.

  • Rob Diaz

    Good luck! I know you can do it!

  • Lynae

    I hear you. I’ve been off processed foods for a month and a half, only eating them when nothing else is available. Down 10, but not where I was 4 yrs ago. You can do it!

  • jenhasapen

    I’m in your boat. The boat where chubby doesn’t really apply anymore. I’m… just fat. Not nearly as cute a word, I realize. But great job to you for cutting out soda. That is such a massive accomplishment! Great job! Good luck on the sugar. If you can do that? You are my idol. 😉

  • Amanda

    Way to go you! Just stopping in from the LBS tea party to cheer you on! 🙂

  • Sabrina Kennedy

    Hi, I am your newest follower from ladt bloggers tea party! Hope you stop by some time 

    Sabrina
    http://www.sabrinassillys.blogspot.com

  • Bella

    And you will get there! 🙂 Stopping by to encourage you from the LBS. I have an hourglass shape and I can totally relate to your post. I look in the mirror and see hips out to there and an ass that ain’t got nothing on that Kardashian woman’s! hee hee! But hey, it is what it is and no matter what, I always say I’m beautiful. Because we are, you know. Back in the day, painters, sculptors and poets all reveled in our voluptuousness; the curve of our hips. We’re just phenomenal women, that’s all! 🙂

  • mabeall

    Sorry about the cess pool. I’m back to being a vegetarian but
    I haven’t figured out what kind I want to be. Giving up
    all the white stuff in this world is hard. Three spoons of sugar
    in coffee or tea, no potato chips (kill me now) and I can’t
    think about pastries ( now I can’t bake). But life is what it is
    and I like Bella’s comment. I love me (and you) and we are
    beautiful. In fact we rock!

  • Teralyn

    hey! Im visiting from the tea party.

    i like your honest style of writing but it also puts it back on me. Im not to the fat stage yet… but it is getting here fast if i dont make some changes

  • Classic NYer

    I once laid off the coffee for two whole weeks, so I kind of feel your pain about the soda. But hey, good luck on the weight loss journey!

    stopping by from the lbs tea party

  • Erin

    Hi I’m here from the tea party. First, I’d like to say that I love your overall blog—the name, the design, the posts. I’m subscribing, so I’ll definitely be back.

    Secondly, I want to say that I totally feel for you. One line in your post sounded just like me, I was telling my sister that when I hit my lowest weight it was for about a second and then I immediately began putting it back on. I’ve been eating well for the last 6 months or so. It is a struggle and a journey. I kick-started the loss with Phase 1 of South Beach: absolutely no carbs. It was hard, I mean REALLY hard, but I checked off each day on the calendar until I finally made it though, and had lost 11 pounds. That was back in Nov., and I had lost 32 pounds total, but then for the last month or two the weight started coming back on, and I started to have the out-of-control feeling, SO starting 5 days ago I am doing Phase 1 again. I am currently down 5 pounds (I had gained about 5 over the last 8 weeks). Good luck! I’ll be rooting for you to succeed!

    • maggyruth

      Oh, if only they would make the good stuff cheap and the crap stuff more expensive…life would be so much easier (and healthier.) I blame the lobbyists.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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