Who needs kids…

when you have cats?

Sometimes I just want to look at my cats and go, as my BFF’s sister would say, “You’re just humans and your mama dresses you funny.” (Original phrase “You’re a dog but your mama dresses you funny.”)

I love my cats.  They’re cute and funny and snuggle at the right times.  However, they can also be obnoxious, noisy, and way more work than something that weighs between 6 and 9 pounds should be.

Take last night for example…the elder cat, Little Kitty, was on puking spree.  Ever couple of hours I would hear the tell tale signs (other cat ‘owners’ know that of which I speak), rush (or try to rush in my drug-induced haze*) to get her off the bed and on the floor (much easier clean up) and try to prevent her from running under the bed (rarely was I successful.)  Finally, the hubby got up and kind of followed her around as he could (and as the hacking lead him) to try and get things cleaned up in a timely manner.

(Yes, dear…no more allowing Little Kitty to lick the bowl.  Promise.)

This cat, who weighs all of 6 pounds, has taken over the role of the small child who had a bad dream and wants to sleep between mommy and daddy.  There will be days that I wake up with her little kitty face in mine (breathing her lovely cat-food breath on me…yum.)  There are other days when she will be sprawled out between the boy and I, going across the bed so as to take up as much room as possible (she may not weigh much, but man can she streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch.)

Oh, and lets not forget the bathroom.  Both the cats have this thing about being in the bathroom when you are. However, Little Kitty will actually take it upon herself to stick her little paw under the door if you forgot and tried to close the door without her in there with you.  I’ve heard tales from friends about their children sticking their little fingers under the door when mom or dad are trying to sneak a minute of peace while tending to their necessary bodily functions…yeah…same thing, except my ‘kid’s’ fingers are furry and missing an opposable thumb.  Little Kitty will at least vacate when you’re taking a shower (but will return the minute the shower is turned off.)  Sweet Tea, on the other hand, will practically jump in the shower with you…provided she can do so without getting wet (her normal perch is the side of the tub, between the shower curtain and liner.)

Oh, and how is it that something so small can sound like a herd of elephants stampeding when they decide it’s time to run up and down the stairs repeatedly in game of chase (normally in the middle of the night, or in the middle of the day when mom’s on the phone with her boss…)?

The boy and I laugh a lot at the cats…they are generally a major source of amusement or extreme cuteness.  I can’t imagine not having them…and will miss them horribly when the inevitable time comes for them to go to the eternal place of sunny spots and endless laser beams to chase (Little Kitty is getting up there at age 12…but I’m hoping for another good 5 years.)  I’ll even take the obnoxious bits.

One of Sweet Tea's favorite perches

*Disclaimer: I’m on muscle relaxants and pain meds for my back. I’m not moving around so great (better than earlier this week, but still stiff.)  Forgive any typos…writing this blog has been an interesting experience involving copious use of the backspace key.

About maggyruth

Mid-thirties, Mid-Atlantic transplant. Fiber-artist, hidden poet, health educator, student. Still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I swear sometimes. Especially when I'm mad. Deal with it. View all posts by maggyruth

One response to “Who needs kids…

  • Tara

    I really enjoyed reading this post! We have two “kitty children” and I could really identify with your post. Keep up the good work on the blogs!

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