Baby-Gate

***NO, I’M NOT PREGNANT!!!!***

Now that that’s out of the way…on with the blog…

It’s inevitable.

One of the first questions you get after you get married (or get engaged, for that matter):

“So, when are you having kids?”

As a matter of fact, I was just asked this today…by one of my husband’s coworkers.  They were all sneaky and planned a little dessert reception for us (as a surprise to the boy…I was let in on the goings-on solely for the fact that it would add to the surprise) and I got to meet a number of his cohorts from work.  I’d only met two previously, when I came to visit against his will when he was sick last fall. (They were flabbergasted when they found out I existed.)

My response to the questioning colleague?

“St. Swiven’s Day”

See, my baby alarm clock went off about 4 years ago.  I was single, no prospects, but my friends were popping out kids left and right, and I was horrifically sad about the whole thing. Fast forward to now, and I’m thinking that kids, while cute, might best be left in the care of others.  To put it lightly, I have a 50 ton weight sitting on that alarm’s snooze button.

Please don’t misunderstand.  I think most kids are cute.  I think my husband and I would both make good parents. And I even like most of the kids I encounter.  But having kids is a forever thing, and not something to be taken lightly.  It’s not like you can decide one day that you have buyer’s remorse and try to return the kid to the local big-box kid store (While Wal-Mart may accept just about anything, I don’t think children are on that list.)  Car-Max isn’t going to give you a buy-back quote that’s good for 2 weeks or the next 75 diapers, whichever comes first.

First off, I want to get used to being married.  That is it’s own major adjustment, if only for the fact that I am sharing living space with another human being. It’s been a loooooooong time since I’ve done that.  I’ve also gotten used to the freedoms allowed by not having kids.  No need to worry about babysitters for the cats…just someone to pop in every few days if gone on vacation to make sure they have food, water, and haven’t killed one another (normally they are found sleeping on opposite sides of the king size bed.  Go-getters they are not.)

Thankfully, my husband and I appear to be of the same thought when it comes to children.  There is neither burning desire to have or not to have at this point (though, admittedly, it would work out well not to have children in the next couple of years, with school and all that jazz.)   If I were to become pregnant, we would make it work.  If we never have kids, we would make it work.  We might change our minds somewhere down the road, and that’s ok, too.

But really…I just want to be married for awhile.

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About maggyruth

Mid-thirties, Mid-Atlantic transplant. Fiber-artist, hidden poet, health educator, student. Still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I swear sometimes. Especially when I'm mad. Deal with it. View all posts by maggyruth

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